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Archive for January, 2017

When we first got married in December 2007, I asked my husband, how many children does he want? He confidently answered 10. 11 months down the road, in November 2008, I gave birth to our firstborn baby boy. After a while being young parents (we were 24 then), I asked my husband again the same question. This time he answered 5. LOL, I wonder what did a charming little creature do that resulted to 50% decrease from his initial target. Life moved on and in May 2010, I gave birth to another baby boy. Repeating my ritual, I asked the same question, and this time a different answer came out. He said he wanted 7 children.

Summing it up, I guess he was super excited when we first got married and really wanted to have a BIG family. Nevertheless, being a father for the first time hit the reality on him that probably he could only handle 5 of these minions. 2 years into fatherhood, he probably thought oh well, taking care of these tiny people are not too bad after all, I think I could handle additional two. Hence in the end it becomes 7.

Fast forward 9 years into marriage, we are now family of 6. We had our third boy in November 2012 and was finally blessed with a girl in August 2015. And guess what, I did not bother asking him the same question again. The past 9 years is definitely not a smooth-sailing journey. We went through sequels of quarreling, in between of deciding what/where to eat, doing house chores, taking care of sick kids, hanging and folding the laundry (yes, I have to mention this haha), and sometimes we just quarreled because we felt like it. Of course we also had a fair share of doing fun things together like traveling, going for a movie with the kids, taking them to the park, or simply, enjoying our late weekend morning with roti canai and teh tarik.  And yes, sometimes or another, we even had our quarrels during this supposedly fun times.

However, with every quarrel, there is a make-up. If there is one advice I could give to all newly married couple, it is to quarrel and to make up.  If there is something bothering me, I would rather choose to quarrel rather than keeping things inside me which will only worsen day by day. No matter how severe the argument was, or how annoying and frustrating things have become, never ever give up because there is always a way to reconcile.

To me, surviving through all these years is the greatest gift that I could ask for.  The journey has taught me the meaning of perseverance at times when I feel like quitting. If given a chance, I wouldn’t have asked for anything to be changed except for that I should have been a better wife to my husband and a better mom to my children. There are innumerable times when I did something but regretted it sooner than I could have imagined. Little things such as getting mad at my husband when he was 5 minutes late for picking me up at the LRT, or shouting at my children when they mess up the house. I wish I was more patient.

Going back to my initial story, now that we are stepping into our 10th year of marriage, I am no longer concerned about how many children we are targeting in the end. Rather, how best can we provide for our 4 angels that we already have (both in worldly life and in preparation for the hereafter) and also how best can I be for my better half. Here’s to tens of years of quarreling and making up and putting them on repeat mode forever ahead.

 

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